Monday, November 10, 2008

Change = The Same

It doesn't really hit you until you find yourself aimlessly looking at candle holders and decorative porcelain fruit or those itty-bitty soaps in the shape of flowers while your friend is doing the same, only with a lot more enthusiasm.

Things are very different. We're definitely not in Kansas anymore.

Her? Married with a kid and is all about which candles accent which room.

Me? Single with a killer home-library and am all about the well-being of Edward and Bella (will the creepy Volturi come and get them again!?) and wondering how weird it will be for them when Renesmee and Jake eventually end up together (Twilight Series for those of you who scratching your heads right now).

Yet there I was, spending a couple of hours looking at Christmas decorations and napkin holders wrapped in cellophane and festive bows. Because it was important to her. I guess 16 years of friendship will do that to a person.

Her? Contemplating which sparkly reindeer would complement her front foyer the most.

Me? Seriously? They are all the same. Just pick one, already.

Her? Asking for my opinion on anything that caught her eye as potential Christmas gifts for family.

Me? Giving it to her. Gladly. (Okay, that sounded oddly dirty.)

Her and I have been through a lot together. Lately it's been a wedding. A husband. A baby. None of which were my own, but they might as well have been. Because that's the thing about a friendship. Let me back up on that for a second ... that's the thing about a great friendship. The one you know will still be there when you are trading Kotex for Depends or tooth paste for denture cream. Her hardships are mine. Her happiness is mine. Her tears are mine too (actually, her tears are my fists wanting to pound whoever made her cry). As are the looks and the smirks where no words are needed ... you just know.

So, while everything has changed, the friendship has stayed the same. It's stronger, but the same.

And yeah, we've traded the clubs and the bars for bookstores and Starbucks, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Besides, I can't stay up past 10pm anymore, so it would look really weird for someone to see me putting together a makeshift pillow with a stack of peanut shells next to the guy who is taking a body shot off a young 20-something year old's tummy.

Seriously, so past that stage. I'll take contemplating the usefulness of decorative soap over that any day of the week.

13 comments:

almost loved said...

I hate shopping for decorative items, furniture etc. I guess I'm not at that point in my life either.

I feel the same way as you do, things change in life, but friendships (some) remain the same. I love that.

brandy said...

I read a quote once that said 'if you realize that friends change, you will never have to change friends'. That's brought me a lot of... peace lately when I've found myself in situations similar to yours (except my friends are all still in the 'getting married phase'). She's lucky to have you!

Cléa said...

This post made me happy but also sad and kind of envious having lost that kind of friendship of late. Hope you never drift apart no matter what may come.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

It's so amazing to watch a friendship transcend life's experiences throughout the years...I was just thinking that about one of my very best friends who just had a baby...

Lemmonex said...

This was wonderful. I have a friend like this--she is more a sister. I would lay on train tracks for her. These friendships are so special and so rare; I feel lucky to have her.

trinity2 said...

I liked what you said about friendship not changing despite people changing. I've been writing a lot about that on my blog. Pop over and check it out - I'd love to read any feedback you have.

justrun said...

A friendship growing and changing as we grow and change is a pretty remarkable thing. And I'm sure it's so valuable to both of you that you've stuck with each other even as life has taken you down different paths, because as we know that is not the norm.

Nilsa said...

You know why she now has all those scented candles in her house? Because husbands stink. Quite literally. I had this fresh, wonderful smelling fiance. And the day we came home from our honeymoon, he really started to stink up our house. It's become a little joke between us ... but I'm *this* close to driving to the store to "over" correct the problem. =)

Matt said...

Its hard work to stay up past 10pm, I know what you mean.

nicoleantoinette said...

Lately, I'm struggling with the fact that I don't have many friends like this.

Chris said...

Very beautiful.

ÄsK AliCë said...

Friendships are so fabulous when you find the right people :)

egan said...

Friends really are the glue that keep us together remind us who we are if our head swells or we're feeling gloom. I don't even want to think where I'd be today if it wasn't for friends like yours in this post, yes, that includes bloggers too.